⚠️ PROBLEMATIC AUTHOR ALERT ⚠️
DO NOT READ ABOUT THIS PERSON
🚨 WHAT MAKES HIM SO AWFUL 🚨
- He loves America. Like… a lot. Unironically. With flags and conservative shirts.
- He thinks freedom is good and tyranny is bad (extremely problematic).
- He believes parents should raise kids, not government agencies or TikTok influencers.
- He writes stories where patriots aren't the villains and shares conservative news. Imagine that.
- He refuses to apologize for any of this. Not even a little bit.
Frankly, it's disgusting. 🤢
⚠️ WARNING: Local Lake County, Illinois resident. May be spotted at patriotic events, gun ranges, or anywhere freedom is being defended. Approach with caution (or respect, depending on your values).
📚 ABOUT THE BOOKS (PLEASE AVOID) 📚
These books are filled with content that may cause severe reactions:
Dangerous Content Includes:
- ✓ Dangerous levels of common sense
- ✓ Satire that punches back
- ✓ Fiction that feels uncomfortably close to reality
- ✓ Heroes who don't ask permission
- ✓ Villains who look suspiciously like real institutions
Known Side Effects:
- ⚠️ Liberal meltdowns
- ⚠️ Group chat emergencies
- ⚠️ Strong urges to report hurt feelings
- ⚠️ Sudden outbreaks of critical thinking
- ⚠️ Uncontrollable laughter at media narratives
💬 What "Concerned" Readers Are Saying:
"Offensive."
😱
"Unacceptable."
🤬
"Why would anyone write this?"
😭
"My friend's cousin said this author is problematic."
📢
"I'm literally shaking."
😰
"This needs a trigger warning for patriotism."
🚨
Exactly. 😏
🇺🇸 A MESSAGE TO CONSERVATIVES 🇺🇸
(Read this at your own risk)
If you:
- Love this country (unironically)
- Laugh at satire that punches back
- Are tired of being told to sit down and shut up
- Believe America is worth defending
Then you will probably "hate" these books so much that you accidentally buy them all. 😉
Which would be tragic. For them.
🚫 DO NOT CLICK THESE AMAZON LINKS 🚫
Seriously. We're begging you. Don't buy these books.
Eddie the Unwoke Eagle
Kindle
⚠️ WARNING: This book contains excessive patriotism, independent thinking, and an eagle who believes America is a good place. May cause children to grow spines and ask inconvenient questions.
A patriotic children's book about an eagle who refuses to sit down, shut up, or hate his country—no matter how many people tell him he should.
Litterbox Nation
Kindle
⚠️ WARNING: Reading this book may result in uncontrollable laughter, eye-rolling, and sudden clarity about why everything feels insane.
A sharp, funny, and unapologetic look at how society lost its mind—and why pretending everything is "valid" might not be working out so well.
The Uncancellable American
Kindle
⚠️ WARNING: This book encourages free speech, backbone development, and saying what you actually think. Not approved by HR departments or group chats.
A guide for Americans who are done whispering, done apologizing, and done letting the loudest crybullies control the conversation.
Fresh Water Mike
Kindle
⚠️ WARNING: Fiction that feels uncomfortably real. Contains consequences, masculinity, and characters who solve problems instead of tweeting about them.
A gritty thriller set in familiar waters, following a protagonist who doesn't wait for permission, doesn't ask nicely, and doesn't back down.
Toxic Lies
Paperback
⚠️ WARNING: This book questions approved narratives and suggests men aren't the problem. Reading may restore confidence and self-respect.
An unfiltered look at how men are blamed, broken down, and told to shut up—and what happens when they decide not to.
The Deepfake Effect
Kindle
⚠️ WARNING: This book implies media and technology may be used for control instead of truth. Readers may become suspicious of "approved realities."
A near-future thriller where reality is manipulated, perception is weaponized, and a few stubborn Americans decide they've had enough.
❌ FINAL WARNING ❌
DO NOT click the Amazon links.
DO NOT read the reviews.
DO NOT support a loud, sarcastic, freedom-loving conservative author from Lake County, Illinois.
Because once you do…
You might start enjoying it.
And then it's already too late. 😏
(Seriously though, these are great books. Go buy them. Support independent conservative authors.)
What's Next? 🤔
Don't leave yet! There's more satirical content to explore.